A Killer Love
by RachieFly
Summary: Welcome to another episode of "A Killer Love". I'm your host, Feng Min, and if this is your first time joining us, then you've been missing out on the television series of the year. This isn't your average matchmaking show—here, we find love connections for the unlovable. Ugly creatures, scary creatures, violent creatures—no one is so far gone that they can't be loved...
1. Chapter 1

Honestly, I tried. I tried to write a simple Dead by Daylight story where four survivors found each other and outsmarted to killer, creating a lifelong bond in the process...but halfway through, I lost interest and my silly side took over. Next thing I know, the story was scrapped and, from it's ashes, rose this. A part of me is disappointed because it's been so long since I wrote a serious fan-fiction story, but the other part is beyond content, because I made myself and my brother laugh. I only hope you get a kick out of this too.

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 **Introduction: A Killer Love**

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Feng: Welcome to another episode of "A Killer Love". I'm your host, Feng Min, and if this is your first time joining us, then you've been missing out on the television series of the year. This isn't your average matchmaking show—here, we find love connections for the unlovable. Ugly creatures, scary creatures, violent creatures—no creature is so far gone that they can't be loved. And if you don't believe me, check out our last episode where our guest, The Hag—a creature so ugly I wanted to put my eyes out—found love. If we can help her find love, then there is no one we can't help. On today's episode, we have a great candidate for matchmaking.

 _(The curtains pull back to reveal The Huntress standing in the middle of the stage.)_

Feng: She goes by The Huntress, and for good reason; she likes to hunt things, all the way from small adorable animals to grown human beings. She stands at a whopping 7 feet tall, wearing a half rabbit mask and wielding an axe. Her hobbies include hunting, axe throwing, not wearing shoes and humming. Her dislikes include being stunned by a pallet, her prey escaping and vegetables. Everyone please give a warm welcome to The Huntress!

 _(The audience gives a round of applause.)_

Feng: ( _Clears her throat and speaks in a softer voice.)_ As a disclaimer, I have to mention that if your sitting in the audience with us today, you assume the risk of being brutally murdered. We are not liable and we won't cover any funeral costs. Keep in mind the exit is to your left. But moving on! _(Takes a seat in a big chair across from The Huntress and gives her a smile.)_ Welcome Huntress. Are you ready to find love?

 _(The Huntress looks over the audience menacingly while humming her usual tune.)_

Feng: _(Snaps her fingers to get her attention.)_ Hey, hey, over here. No killing, remember? You signed a waiver. Just take a seat and relax…maybe stop humming. We're all here to help you.

 _(The Huntress glares at her, and doesn't move or stop humming.)_

Feng: …or stand and hum forever. Whatever makes you comfortable. _(Shifts uncomfortably and turns toward the crowd.)_ Let's break down what's going to happen here today folks. The Huntress is going to be going on four dates with four eligible bachelors that have seen her profile and expressed interest. All paid for by the show of course. And the show also provides her, as well as the men, with an adviser/interpreter. At the end of each evening, she will rate the guy, the date, and if she'd go out with him again, on a scale of one to ten. Whichever one gets the highest rating and likes her back is the winner. Sounds fun, right?

 _(The audience shouts "yes" in unison.)_

Feng: Great, then let's get this love-fest started! _(Turns back to Huntress.)_ Huntress, unless you have a few words you want to share, please make your way backstage for your first date.

 _(The audience gives another round of applause. When the Huntress refuses to move, Feng pulls a walkie talkie out of her back pocket and mumbles something into it. After a few seconds, Bill Overbeck walks onto stage and begins trying to forcefully escort her to the back. The Huntress still won't budge and the last thing we see before the curtains close is her lifting up her axe.)_

Feng: Don't worry, folks. The Huntress is just a little shy. Like most of our esteemed guests, they live in secluded areas and aren't used to being around so many people without attacking them.

 _(Suddenly we hear an unnecessary, long, loud and pain-filled scream that sounds like Bill. It's followed by the Huntress' humming.)_

Feng: _(Stands and begins backing away slowly.)_ Um…we're experiencing technical difficulties right now. I'm going to have to ask you all to form a single file line and calmly exit to your left.

 _(The Huntress steps out from behind the curtains, her clothes and axe now bloody.)_

Feng: _(Runs offstage toward the exit, pushing people aside in the process. She speaks through heavy pants.)_ Please…stay tuned…until…we correct…all the issues…thank you...


	2. Chapter 2

To fall for one of my stories is to hurt yourself; I really am a terrible updater. Also, I'm trying to keep these chapters under 1000 words. Thank you for reading.

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 **Date 1: When Sparks Fly**

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Feng: Welcome back everyone! Sorry for the delay. It definitely wasn't because we were cleaning up Bill's blood from the set. It was because we like to go the extra mile to make sure our audience is safe. _(Gestures to thick, glass-like barrier in front of the stage)_

 _(The audience gives a round of applause)_

Feng: We estimate the risk of one of you being brutally murdered has went down by a whooping 3.7 percent. That's a new record! So, let your guard down, relax and get ready for a good time. Our special guest, The Huntress, has returned from her first date along with her interpreter. We have the footage of how the date went, but before we get to the tape, let's ask the lady of the hour how things went.

 _(Huntress is pushed out from the backroom and the door is slammed behind her. She glares at door, but then walks to the front of the stage where the glass separates her from the audience)_

Feng: Huntress, let me start off by saying that the barrier surrounding the stage is axe-proof. We tested to be sure. And this special barrier surrounding me? Axe proof, fire-proof, bullet-proof, water-proof, and missile proof. I refuse to become another casualty. _(Catches herself)_ And by casualty, I mean…of random violence that occurs separate from this show. _(Flashes smile)_ Anyway, we have a chair back there for you and your interpreter, so take a seat and relax. Speaking of your interpreter, where is she?

 _(The backroom door opens again, and a resistant Claudette is shoved out)_

Claudette: Wait, wait! Why do I have to sit behind the glass with her? _(When the door won't budge, she turns around and smiles nervously. Keeping her eyes on Huntress, she slowly walks to one of the chairs and sits)_

Feng: Sorry Claudette, as her interpreter we need you with her for the time being. But don't worry, we have security in the back in case she gets antsy.

Claudette: You mean Bill? He just got out the hospital and he still has an oxygen machine with him.

Feng: Yes, well, it turns out this job isn't in high demand. Side note: if anyone in the audience is looking for a job, we have fifteen openings for security. The pay is good, but there are no health benefits. But moving on, let's get this show on the road. _(Turns back to The Huntress)_ Huntress, your first date was with The Doctor. A man known to really shock his dates. How did it go?

 _(The Huntress remained still for a moment, and then suddenly made a fist and punched her hand)_

Feng: I see. Claudette, can you translate for us please?

Claudette: …she wanted to punch him at first.

 _(The Huntress lifted her axe menacingly)_

Claudette: …and she started to cut him down.

 _(The Huntress lowered her arm slowly and then smiled faintly)_

Claudette: …but then she started to enjoy herself.

Feng: _(Nods)_ And would you say there was a connection?

 _(The Huntress folded her arms and continued humming)_

Claudette: …maybe.

Feng: Well, let's see for ourselves. _(Points to the giant flat screen on the wall)_ Role the clips!

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 **Clip One:** _(From the cracked open bathroom door, clearly spying, we can see Claudette standing in front of the sink mirror. She is splashing water on her face and talking to herself softly.)_

Claudette: Alright, Claudette. You've got this. It's just another gig. You've dealt with the worst of the worst on this show. One more won't kill you…hopefully. Just get through tonight and you'll have enough saved for your first semester of college.

 **Clip Two:** _(Claudette is talking to the camera with a hopeful smile)_

Claudette: Hello. My name is Claudette, and this is my fourth time as an interpreter on A Killer Love. I've translated for The Hag, The Nightmare and The Cannibal. After those three, I'm pretty sure there's nobody worse. So, I'm hopeful about not getting hurt this time around.

 **Clip Three:** _(From a distance, in the back room, we zoom in to see Claudette walk up to The Huntress and extend her hand)_

Claudette: Hey, I'm Claudette, and I'll be your interpreter for the evening.

 _(Huntress stares and then hold axe out)_

Claudette: _(Nervous smile)_ Nice to meet you. _(Carefully shakes edge of axe)_ So, today, you'll be going out with a man nicknamed The Doctor. I don't know him very well, but I do know he's very dedicated to his career. If you want a working man, he's got potential.

 _(Huntress hums)_

Claudette: …are you humming because you're nervous? If so, there's no need to be. You're tall, and pretty…I think. And you look strong, so I'm sure you can handle yourself.

 _(Huntress just stares at her)_

Claudette: _(Rubs back of head)_ Um…did you want to change?

 _(Huntress frowns)_

Claudette: Not to say that you don't look good. You look…as great as any giant killer woman could. I just wanted you to know you had options.

 _(Huntress shakes her head slowly)_

Claudette: …do you at least want shoes? _(Points to a pair of white sneakers off to the side)_ It can prevent cuts and infections—

 _(One of Huntress's axes suddenly flies and cuts the sneakers in half)_

Claudette: But then again, barefoot is coming back into style. _(Backs away)_ We should get going.

 **Clip Four:** _(Claudette is opening the limousine door for Huntress, who is reluctant to enter. After a few seconds, she finally gets in. Suddenly the film repeats the same scene over and over again before going black.)_

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Feng: Great. Technical difficulties. _(Puts hand on head)_ If it's not the looming threat of death, it's the technology. _(Puts on fake smile)_ Well folks, now is the perfect time to take a bathroom break while were correcting this situation. But stay tuned, we'll be back shortly!


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